


TESTING WEIRD BABY PRODUCTS

by ShineBrightStarLight



Series: August Writer's Month 2019 [19]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, M/M, Married Keith/Shiro (Voltron), Youtube AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-20
Updated: 2019-08-20
Packaged: 2020-09-19 08:34:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,068
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20328193
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShineBrightStarLight/pseuds/ShineBrightStarLight
Summary: Shiro: “I can’t wait to try this! I got him this onesie, which literally turns my baby into a mop. So when he crawls around he is cleaning the floor. I don't know if you're supposed to like, dip the baby into soapy water first or? Needless to say, Sven will be staying dry.”[Keith looks horrified and pulls Sven closer][Screen cuts to Sven in the blue suit. He is sitting on their hardware floor. A large husky is lying next to him. The camera moves a little, to capture Keith kneeling a few feet away]Keith: “Sven! Come here, Jelly tot, you can do it! Come here, good boy, you’re so good!”[Shiro’s voice comes from off camera] “Stop talking to him like he’s a dog!”Keith: “It’s better than using him as a mop!”For Day 20 of Writer's Month; word prompt; weird





	TESTING WEIRD BABY PRODUCTS

**Author's Note:**

> Based off Colleen Ballinger's video "Testing Weird Amazon Baby Products" You don't need to have watched the video to read though. Although it will give you a better description of the products. 
> 
> I tried a different... format I guess, to make it seem like reading a script. I'm not sure whether I like it or not, but it was nice to try something different.

[Video starts with two men sitting on a couch, a baby in between them. The taller one has a scar over his nose and white hair. The smaller one has long dark hair. The taller one lifts the baby into his lap and makes him wave for the camera]

Shiro: “Hello everyone, my name’s Shiro, and this beautiful, gorgeous, handsome man next to me is my husband, Keith. And…” [He gestures to the baby] “This is our son, Sven!”

[Shiro pulls a blushing Keith closer and kisses them both on the cheek. Sven stares up at his dads and coos]

S: “I know you haven’t seen Keith on camera too much, but I had to include him in this video.” 

[Keith snorts and rolls his eyes]

Keith: “That’s only because Sven is calmer with me and you want to put him in ridiculous things.” 

[Shiro pouts and snuggles into Keith’s neck making him squirm away, laughing. Shiro starts tickling him. The video cuts to them sitting upright again, both looking a bit ruffled, and flushed. Keith’s eyes are watery, and he can’t keep the smile off his face] 

S: “Anyway, today we are trying weird baby products!! Yay!!!!” [Neither Keith nor Sven look impressed. Shiro sighs]

S: “Okay, let’s dive in.” 

[Video cuts to a huge box in between the couple, Sven now sitting in Keith’s lap]

S: “First thing we have is this placenta plush.” [Shiro pulls it out of the box, and both him and Keith pull a face. Shiro reads allowed from the tag] “Baby's first roommate.” 

[He hands the toy over to Keith, who hesitantly gives it to Sven. Sven doesn’t even acknowledge it, so Keith pushes it a bit closer. Keith shrugs and looks up at Shiro]

K: “I don’t think he misses his roommate.” 

[Shiro doesn’t look too disappointed] 

S: “Okay then, moving on. This is called “Tooty the Bear”. It’s a bear, that just farts. You squeeze it and…” [Bear farts, for several long seconds. Keith’s face grows from grossed out, to mildly impressed to worried. Sven stares at it with rapt attention. The moment Shiro hands it to Keith, Sven is reaching for it. Keith groans] 

K: “Why did he have to pick this of all things? I’m going to be listening to farts for the rest of that things life!” 

[Shiro laughs and rummages around for more things in the box. Sven squeezes the bear and it farts again. Both Shiro and Sven giggle. Shiro gasps as he pulls the next item out] 

S: “I can’t wait to try this! I got him this onesie, which literally turns my baby into a mop. So when he crawls around he is cleaning the floor. I don't know if you're supposed to like, dip the baby into soapy water first or? Needless to say, Sven will be staying dry.” 

[Keith looks horrified and pulls Sven closer] 

[Screen cuts to Sven in the blue suit. He is sitting on their hardware floor. A large husky is lying next to him. The camera moves a little, to capture Keith kneeling a few feet away] 

K: “Sven! Come here, Jelly tot, you can do it! Come here, good boy, you’re so good!” 

[Shiro’s voice comes from off camera] “Stop talking to him like he’s a dog!” 

K: “It’s better than using him as a mop!” 

[Both coo loudly as Sven starts to move towards Keith. He’s obviously still learning but is doing a good job. Shiro zooms in on the ground that he has crawled over]

[Video cuts to Keith with Sven - still in the costume - on his hip.]

K: “Did it work? Are the floors any cleaner?” 

S: “No, I don’t think so, babe. Sorry, don’t think we can cut down on the mopping just yet.” 

[Cuts back to Shiro and Keith on the couch]

S: “Next we have diaper changing glove sacks! In case he has a poopy diaper and you don’t want to touch it.” 

K: “I feel like most parents are immune to that though? I mean, it leaks out of Sven’s diapers, it gets on his clothes, it gets on us, the bed, the floor that one time, himself.” 

S: “Yeah, you get used to it after a while. Anyway, lets try these out!” 

[Cuts to Shiro snapping the gloves on like he’s going into surgery. Sven lies on a changing table. He’s giggling as he reaches for a mobile of the solar system that hangs just above him]

S: “I really don’t mind changing him with my bare hands but let’s do this.” 

S: “Okay, diaper off.” 

[Shiro pulls the glove over the diaper and ties it.]

K: “It just feels a bit unnecessary.” 

S: “Maybe if there was a super messy blow out?” 

K: “No. No one would ever use this. No parent would ever take the time to put on that glove.” 

S: “Yeah, it does seem a bit silly.” 

[Close up of Sven’s smiling face, and then the video cuts back to the couch] 

S: “Oh my gosh, I’m so excited for this one. This,” [He holds up a beanie] “Is a beanie for a baby that has a beard on it.” [He hands the hat over to Keith who slips it over Sven’s head. Shiro leans forward to adjust it properly.] 

S: “Look at that! Who’s this handsome boy! Look at you!” 

[Shiro and Keith make eye contact and burst out laughing. Sven giggles along with them. He doesn’t seem too bothered by the hat.] 

K: “Sven! You’re so cute!!” 

S: “Wait until you see the next one!”

[Screen cuts to Sven wearing a different hat. This one makes him look like he has a messy head of hair. Keith is shaking trying to hold in his laughter, and has tears rolling down his cheeks. Shiro isn’t much better]

S: “He’s so cute! I’m obsessed!” 

K: “Babe, we're making him wear this the next time we go to visit my dads. Please, imagine Koli’s face!” 

[They both break into fresh peals of laughter]

S: “Okay! I think that’s enough for this video! If you’d like to see more of our family, and to see my exercise and lifestyle videos, don’t forget to subscribe! And like if you want to see more of Keith!! Thanks for watching!” 

K: “Say bye, Sven! Bye-bye!!” 

[All three of them wave, still laughing and the screen cuts to black]


End file.
